Journeying Together: Helping Kids Transition to Youth Ministry

So you’ve poured 10 years into your church’s kids. You’ve praised God as you’ve seen their faith grow, wiped away sneaky tears as they raised their hands in worship for the first time, and wiggled with glee as you watched the spiritual penny drop in their eyes when they suddenly just get that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. And now it’s that time: they are moving from Kids Ministry to Youth Ministry.

Surely, the years of seeds planted, biscuits shared, juice poured, side-hugs given, names remembered, and gluten-free gummy worms rewarded will carry them successfully into this new season of their relationship with Jesus. Surely, they will move into youth church in a healthy and thriving way. But some don’t.

I’m sure each of us who have served in Kids Ministry have, at some point, silently broken inside as we’ve seen a once-involved, spiritually growing child sit week after week with a parent in the main church service, until, eventually, the parent sits alone, and the child stays at home.

Before we dive into this, I want to be clear: children and young people of any age can, of course, grow, be challenged, inspired, and equipped while remaining in an adult-focused service. But there is something special that happens when a child or young person is surrounded by their peers, worshipping together, debating topics, and interacting with the Holy Spirit.

So why do some drop off? Why do some just not make it? And, of course, how can we address it?

The Challenge: From Village to City

Imagine moving from a small village to a large, bustling city. In the village, life is slower, everyone knows each other, and everything feels familiar. You know where to find everything (especially the best pizza place), and there’s comfort in the routine. But in the city, everything is bigger, faster, and constantly changing. The people are diverse, the opportunities endless, and there’s a sense of anonymity, you can easily get lost in the crowd.

Even with the time and space to plan, process, and scout for pizza spots, the thought of such a move can feel overwhelming. Now imagine going to bed in your little village one evening and waking up the next morning to discover that you suddenly live in the big city.

Our Kids' Ministry is the small village. Kids know their leaders, where the toilets are, where they sit, and the rhythm and routines of the programme. Youth Ministry is the bustling city, where the older teens are skyscrapers and everything moves quickly, often without explanation.

As adults, few of us like sudden, forced changes at the best of times. Yet, historically, we’ve expected this of our church kids simply because they’ve reached a certain age or school year. They don’t feel any different from the previous Sunday, and their capacity to understand or interpret hasn’t suddenly grown. So, upon reflection, it’s a miracle that so many transition well, rather than focusing on those who don’t.

Addressing the Issue: A Transition Plan

A few years ago, I grew tired of once again ‘silent breaking’. I was walking across the back of our church auditorium when I saw yet another 10-year-old sitting with their parent. This child had loved Kids' Ministry, had led parts of the programmes, and was a gatherer. But they lasted only two weeks in Youth Ministry before refusing to go in.

We needed to address this.

Initially, I focused on Youth Ministry itself, meeting with our youth pastor, discussing welcome teams and programmes, and assuming the ‘big city’ destination was the issue. But I quickly realised the real problem wasn’t the destination; it was the journey.

So, we developed a plan: a transition month. In May, the month before our kids moved to Youth Ministry in June, we pulled the 10-year-olds out of Kids' Ministry entirely.

Parents were incredibly trusting as I outlined the idea: no teaching, no worship, no other kids, just the 10-year-olds and a new team I pulled together (our Transition Team) every Sunday morning for the full month of May.

I recruited four adults who committed to journeying with our kids for the month. The commitment was substantial: missing a full month of church to spend time with these kids, simply to walk with them, answer their questions, and celebrate them. I also brought in two older youth members to help the kids get used to the 'skyscrapers' before moving to the big city.

Here's how we structured the four Sundays:

Week One: "You are awesome!"

We took the kids to eat ice cream in our senior pastor’s office and played ‘get to know you’ games with the new team. To a child, the senior pastor’s office feels like the secret lair of a superhero, except instead of a cape and mask, there are lots of books and maybe a really comfy chair. Eating ice cream there is a moment our 11- and 12-year-olds still talk about years later.

Week Two: Meet the Youth Pastor

This was the Sunday our youth pastor spent with the 10-year-olds. They shared silly stories about how they ended up in youth ministry, introduced gross game ideas, and most importantly shared their heart for these kids. Vulnerability and trust-building made this week unforgettable.

Week Three: Goodbye Kids' Room

On the third Sunday, the 10-year-olds worshipped with the rest of Kids' Church one last time. Then, we paused the service and had the other kids gather around to pray for them. We officially said goodbye—prepare for tears (from your team, the kids will be fine). Afterward, the kids spent time with the senior pastor, who spoke about church life and shared how being part of a larger church family had impacted them.

Week Four: The Church-Wide Celebration

On the final Sunday, our 10-year-olds and Transition Team were invited onto the main stage. We packed as many Kids' Ministry volunteers and youth members as possible on stage with them. The congregation cheered, the kids shared funny stories, and we prayed over them. Then, we handed them over to our youth pastor, who stood ready to welcome them. And yes, I cried—a lot.

The 10-year-olds then head into the new zones with our Transition Team who sit alongside them in their first official Sunday in Youth Church. Again, this is to ensure that if there are questions, insecurities or worries, there is a face that they know and trust that they can turn to.

The Results: A Culture of Welcome

Since implementing this 'Transition Month,' we haven’t had a single child fail to move successfully from Kids' Ministry to Youth. Many of the adults from our Transition Teams have even chosen to stay on as youth volunteers—an unplanned bonus! What’s more, we’ve seen a shift in our 9-year-olds: instead of dreading the move, they now eagerly ask, ‘When is it our turn?’

Our ‘skyscrapers' and ‘big city dwellers’ (the older youth) have embraced a culture of standing at the city gates to welcome our little villagers as they arrive.

By simply pausing, creating space, and being intentional, we gave our kids the time to process, prepare, and learn what life in the big city would be like. They discovered new opportunities, new friends, many pizza nights, and new ways to interact with God and experience Jesus’ incredible love.

God has blessed us with the privilege of loving others’ kids as if they were our own. Yes, it’s heart-breaking to see one of them struggle, but it’s also pure joy to watch them flourish.

It’s my prayer that this journey inspires and encourages you as you guide your own kids into their next chapter.

David (Dee) Murphy is a Kids Pastor with over 22 years of experience bringing creativity, energy, and leadership to children’s ministry.

Specialising in content creation, teaching, and multisite church leadership, Dee is passionate about helping children grow in their faith and transitioning smoothly into youth ministry.

An experienced puppeteer and comic book writer with a talent for storytelling, Dee knows how to connect with young hearts while equipping leaders to make a lasting impact. When he’s not crafting engaging lessons, creating church YouTube resources or wrangling puppets, you’ll find him enjoying family time, tinkering with cars, and enjoying life in the countryside.