Family Discipleship: 3 Myths Parents Believe (And The Truths You Can Help Them Discover)

If your efforts to equip families with the best family discipleship resources aren’t well received, know this: The answer isn’t to send home more resources to gather crumbs in the minivan, but to take one step backward and show parents that they can do this. Equipping families is more about the message than the method.

Most Christian parents want  to disciple their kids, but they get bogged down by the untrue messages they tell themselves every day. We must address the lies that parents are believing, breaking them down and exposing them as lies. Because I promise you, once they internalize the message, they’ll find the method that works for their unique family.

Myth #1: I need my kids to sit still and listen.

We think if they’re not sitting still and listening quietly, they’re not paying attention or learning. But asking most kids to sit quietly and drink in our wisdom isn’t realistic, and doesn’t respect the way God designed children.

Sharing Jesus with our kids isn’t about getting as much info into them as possible —discipleship is about relationships. When parents learn to consider their child’s interests, allow them to wiggle and interrupt, or let them create art or even play while they’re reading or praying, the family is building a sense of truth and family warmth, which is critical for faith transmission.

TRUTH MESSAGE #1: You don’t need to get them to sit still, you need to get them engaged.

Myth #2: I don't have time.

You’ve probably heard the analogy of the priorities of our day being like a jar of rocks, pebbles, and sand. To get everything into the jar, we put the big rocks in first, representing the high-priority tasks, then add the smaller rocks and sand, which are the low-priority tasks. Faith is supposed to be one of those big rocks, right? When we speak of family discipleship like this (in terms of priorities and something else they must be doing), parents feel like they have to actively take something out  in order to fit God in.

But what if God is the sand? Rather than viewing the sand as the low-priority tasks, what if we viewed the sand as the thing that makes the jar full and complete? Yes, the sand is the part you pour in last, the sand fits in all the cracks and surrounds and connects every rock.

When we help parents approach their child’s faith as something that glues their day together and slips into every nook and cranny of their lives, suddenly it becomes very different from an item on their to-do list. We’re asking them to invite God into what they’re already doing – driving kids to school, bathing toddlers, and tucking kids into bed, rather than adding something extra to their schedule.

TRUTH MESSAGE #2: Small, intentional faith moments are enough.

Myth #3: I have to know enough before I can share anything with my kids.

Chances are that you’ve poured over your curriculum, prayed over the day, and prepared the perfect lesson. Parents don’t usually have time for that. Not only that, but they often feel unequipped for a variety of reasons. Having their kids learn from trained people who are prepared and obviously know more can certainly feel safer.

But here’s the truth: God doesn’t expect us to know enough because he wants us to rely on Him. Jesus specializes in taking our little and turning it into a lot. Remember how he took five loaves of bread and two fish and fed thousands? We don’t need a lot when we bring our little to God.

TRUTH MESSAGE #3: Jesus can take your little and turn it into a lot, because it’s not about what you know, it’s about WHO you know.

Teaching families is more about the Message than the Method.

Once your families truly believe that

• True engagement is a better goal than sitting still…

• Small, intentional faith moments are enough, and…

• Jesus can take their little and turn it into a lot…

… they’ll be able to find the right methods that work with their unique families.

Parents will begin to realize that family discipleship is more about WHO they know than WHAT they know, and they’ll start leaning on God to help them confidently disciple their kids.

All these concepts are fully laid out in Little Habits, Big Faith: How Simple Practices Help Your Family Grow in Jesus. It’s both a primer for parents who don’t know where to start discipling at home, and an encouragement and challenge for parents who already do some discipleship to help them lean deeper into God’s calling for them.

Christie Thomas is a mom and writer who has been involved in children’s ministry for most of her life, including working as director of children’s ministry for more than a decade. Christie is a family discipleship coach to parents who need equipping, support, and encouragement. She deeply believes that every Christian parent can confidently nurture deep faith in their kids through little habits that add up over time. Her devotionals and children’s books help parents cultivate faith-filled moments. She lives with her husband and three boys in Alberta.